Relational Processes

WEEK 4

Our anxiety and unrest are often a product of our relating. Whether we are the ones stirring the unease or are reacting to the discontentment in another, our most granular interactions—a conversation with a spouse or coworker, a run-in at the grocery store, a post or podcast, or something more substantial—are where anxiety and unrest become real. It’s also in these most granular collisions where we experience our Father’s “kingdom come  and will done on earth as it is heaven.” If you don’t know what we’re talking about or need a refresher(!), listen to Sunday’s sermon before continuing.

If doing this practice individually, set aside about ten minutes of quiet and have a pen and journal. If doing this practice with your DNA Group, Gospel Community, or spiritual friends, take 5-7 minutes for the reflection time; afterward, share what the Spirit revealed, but be considerate of “the other” person in your interaction. Remember, this is more about becoming aware of what you bring into reality in the collision rather than them.  

In this contextualized ancient practice, ASK THE SPIRIT FOUR THINGS:

1. Bring to mind a particular interaction. Ask the Spirit to help you remember a specific conversation, regardless of whether it went well or not. Whatever interaction pops into your mind first, stick with that one, asking the Spirit to help you remember the details and the disposition.

2. Consider what emotions you brought into the interaction and what the other person may have brought to the conversation. Where you or the other:

  • Stubborn, contemptuous, or dehumanizing?

  • Unaware or overly focused on your personal agenda/desires rather than a shared good?

  • Assuming you are the exception to the issue, utterly unique and so not responsible?

  • Exagerative, hyperbolic, overpromising?

  • Self-protective or judgmental?

  • Unwilling to move towards the other?

 

If there is something, some attitude or action, that the Spirit impresses on you to repent of, take a moment to confess that to our Father, who is faithful and just to forgive. If the Spirit leads you to do so, consider apologizing to the other in your interaction, sharing with them what the Spirit has made you aware of, allowing the light shining on you to shine on them too.

3. Consider where you recognized “the kingdom of heaven” in your conversation. Consider where you or the other was:

 

  • evidently dependent upon the Lord

  • feeling the loss and less within the interaction

  • emotional but soberly and conscientiously so

  • driven for right relating, after the thing you both need

  • prone to forgiveness

  • open, not hidden, non-manipulated, or manipulating

  • operating out of our God-given-likeness by making peace

  • not overreactive when it went sideways, when the conversation didn’t go as you’d hoped

 

Take a moment to thank God for His presence in the interaction, for what the Spirit revealed to you, and for the other with whom you interacted.

4. Conclude your time asking the Spirit to lead you in the Way ancient and everlasting, helping you to be more aware of both the anxiety you and others bring into your interactions, as well as the kingdom of God within your grasp (Luke 17:20-21)