Week 1
Awareness of what is going on under the surface is a gate (or door) we walk through to help us do the hard work of living whole and holy, full and flourishing. So, the first thing we need to do is become aware of our withering, acknowledging the detached disquietedness (chronic anxiety) that pollutes our lives. If you don’t know what we’re talking about or need a refresher(!), listen to Sunday’s sermon before continuing.
In this practice, you’ll read sections of the Sermon on the Mount, paying attention to your heart rate. Similar to self-sufficiency (contentment), self-awareness is relational, only actually helpful in relationship; ask the Spirit to examine your heart and know your disquieting (anxious) thoughts and see if there is any way these thoughts wither your life or another’s, causing grieving in daily living as well as the heart and the good of the One.
Read each section slowly; if/when you feel your heartbeat quicken, whether the urge is to flee from what is being said or attack with it, stop reading and ask the Spirit to show you what’s happening. Consider:
What contexts (people, places, situations) or specific memories are these words and your feelings bringing to mind?
What about Jesus’ words unsettle your heart?
Remember, don’t judge what you notice; just notice it and notice that God notices it, too. Remember what the psalmist discovered in Psalm 73:
When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you. Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to your glory. (Psalm 73:21-24)
It’s not about how you enter; it's about being open to receive, to be led. So, let the Spirit of truth lead you into awareness and the kind of work that might be needed to live differently, to flourish.
Okay, take three deep breaths, breathing in, God for me, and breathing out, God with me. Then pay attention to what unsettles your heart: