Dear Faith Family,
For freedom Christ has set us free;
stand firm therefore, and
do not submit again to the yoke of slavery.
(Galatians 5:1)
Paul's words were not written to the people whom God "brought out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery" (Ex. 20:2), but they could have been. At least Paul presumes that what happened in Exodus 20 is happening still in his day, and so too in ours. That, by God's gracious and mighty efforts, we are being freed from all that oppresses and opposes life whole and holy.
The question we started asking a few weeks ago is how are the Ten Words that follow this grand and perpetuating rescue about freedom? How can words that bind us, grounding us in our limitations, help us live free?
As Dylan mentioned a few weeks ago, freedom is not realized in autonomy, in isolation or separation, but in proper relationship. Remember, the Ten Words are like the law of gravity; they describe reality as it is, regardless of our cognitive or willful assent. According to this "natural law," life free from oppression and slavery (internally and externally) is a matter of relationship. To live free is to relate rightly to God, one another, and even ourselves. Ironically, our relations are where we feel the most oppressed and stifled, whether by boss or parent, child or coworker, spouse or sibling. But we feel this not because relationships inherently oppress our freedom, but because we are not giving proper weight to (i.e., honoring) how we relate.
Most of us probably have little trouble believing that how we relate to God's person and providence matters for how we experience life. The first four of the Ten Words, while not always easily or willingly submitted to, are not argumentatively resisted. Yet, the assumption that our free life is not merely a product of our relation to God but how we relate to others, that's where we tend to push back.
We have no problem arguing that how others relate to me impacts how I live. Like our first parents, we are accustomed to blaming our tensions and predicaments on others--any other-- rather than taking responsibility (Genesis 3:8-13). Yet our scriptures are clear from beginning to end that our attitudes and actions towards others (not primarily theirs towards us) determine the type of life we experience. Or, in the words of Jesus,
So whatever you wish that others would do to you,
do also to them,
for this is the Law and the Prophets.
(Matthew 7:12)
There is no more evident context for validating this reality than in the fundamental and inescapable relation of our immediate family, especially parents to children and children to parents. And so the Fifth Word,
Honor your father and mother,
that your days may be long in the land
that the LORD your God is giving you.
(Exodus 20:12)
The Fifth Word brings what is unseen (life with God) into unavoidable visibility (life with others). We cannot theologize our way around our relation to our family, no matter how difficult or "abnormal" they may be.
Our relation to family is complicated, so we need the simplicity of heart that comes through living in harmony with the first four words (as we said last week). Yet, it is our properly weighted attitudes and actions towards those we did not choose, but were chosen for us that have the power to influence how we "live in the land" of promise, that is, in the free life God has rescued us for.
The essentialness of this fundamental truth is not meant to burden us with acculturated expectations of relation. The Fifth Word is not never question your parents, nor retain a codependency on your parents. Nor does the Fifth Worth assume your parent's parenting is intrinsically right or good or worth imitating. Remember, all the parents of the ones hearing this word for the first time had all but forgotten their God and knew life only as those enslaved. Instead, the word is to take seriously how you relate, how you respond to and treat your parents. In doing so, this word frees us to not have to strive against or overcome those things out of our control: our history, the actions of others. Instead, we are empowered to take appropriate responsibility for the only thing we can, for who we are and how we relate.
Some of us have good relations with our family, some of us not so good. However, if we are honest, all of us struggle with our responsibility in relating to others. So, instead then getting entangled in our particulars (though a concentrated de-entanglement is helpful), let's step back and consider the fundamental reality of this word: how I relate to others is essential to how I experience life--whether I live free or under a yoke of slavery.
Where and in what ways do you experience the truth of the Fifth Word -- positively and negatively?
As you reflect, consider sharing what the Spirit brings to mind with your DNA, spiritual companions, Gospel Community, and/or spouse. While our inescapable and intimate relations are where we feel the tension, our faith family relations are here to help us live free by sharing the burden of the load we carry (Gal. 6:2-5).
I am praying today that we may experience the freedom that is made for us as we "Love one another deeply as brothers and sisters. Taking the lead (outdoing one another) in honoring one another" (Rom. 12:10).
Love you, faith family! God bless.