BACKGROUND[1]
Often in our life of faith, we fall prey to a misoriented drive to arrive. We desire wholeness and holiness, which is good and right. Yet, we mistakenly assume that we achieve our goals when the effort is complete—whether the conclusion of a program, counseling, study, retreat, or when we get into the right group/church, calling, relationship, ministry, or career. While the fount of our drive springs from our God-fashioned, Jesus-freed place where we are who we truly are, we find that our pursuits—more often than not—lead us to feel frustrated, fatigued, or flat. Whatever stamina and ambition drove us eventually runs out.
Why do you think that is? Could it be that a part of the reason we repeatedly cycle through “the next thing” (preachers, people, podcasts, and programs) is that we miss where we get what we desire?
Our faith family has long contended that the most fruitful and effective place achieving our goal of wholeness and holiness is right where you are—those ordinary roles and relationships that make up everyday life: daughter, husband, employee, sister, friend, team-mate, father, neighbor, saint. We beat this drum to the point of annoyance (!) because, right where you are is where God is doing what he does and where you get to join with him! It is through daily, ordinary living that we become like Jesus, whole and holy when we recognize and respond to what God is doing in, through, and for us and those around us.
Our “elementary doctrine of Christ” lays the foundation for us, making sure we don’t forget that everything and everyone in our lives takes place in God’s good creation through Jesus and intended salvation through Jesus (Col. 1:15-20). The problem is not our footing; it’s our skills. The author of Hebrews says our issue is that we have not developed the God-gifted faculty to notice what he is up to and how we can join with him.
About this we have much to say, and it is hard to explain, since you have become dull of hearing. For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness [how to relate whole and holy to ourselves, others, and God], since he is an infant. But solid food is for the mature for those who have their powers [faculties] of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil. Therefore, let us leave the elementary doctrine of Christ and go on to maturity…
(Heb. 5:11-6:1)
If we want to get where we are going, becoming who we want to be along the way, we’re going to have to practice, intentionally develop the God-gifted skill of discernment constantly.
While learning to discern might feel a bit weighty, the good thing is that our faith history has taught us that it is as simple as taking note of Jesus with us throughout our day. Ruth Haley Barton offers this helpful definition of discernment,
“Discernment is an increasing capacity to recognize and respond to the presence of [Jesus]—in ordinary moments and also in the larger decisions in our lives.”[2]
Historically, the practice to help us hone this skill is called the Examen. A daily or weekly moment of verbalizing (speaking or writing) what we’ve noticed: "Seeing is of course very much a matter of verbalization. Unless I call my attention to what passes before my eyes, I simply won't see it."[1] And one way we can help one another hone this skill is through a group form of the Examen[3].
PREPARATION
IMPORTANT: Depending on group size, you’ll need about 60 minutes for this practice. While you’ll undoubtedly want to talk about what you notice about Jesus in each other’s lives over a meal, you’ll need to set aside a specific time to discern first!
Each participant will need a pen, paper, and bible.
Appoint a facilitator to assign readings, make sure you stick to the time frames of each movement, and that everyone has the opportunity to share. Don’t be afraid to set a timer and kindly ask people to wrap things up if they are taking too much time; both are truly helpful.
PRACTICE
QUIET YOUR SOULS
Have everyone close their eyes and take three deep breaths. As they breathe in, pray “Holy Spirit… and as they breathe out, pray, “…Open Our Eyes.” Focus on each breath and envision breathing in God’s presence at this moment. Ask God to hone your ability to recognize his presence and working in your and your spiritual companions’ ordinary moments.
Encourage participants to repeat the centering prayer if and when (!) their thoughts begin to wander in the stillness and reflections.
CLEARING YOUR HEART
Before we can “examen,” we need to identify and confess any obstacles that might be keeping us from seeing Jesus. Our “blinders” are not necessarily sinful, as Jesus pointed out to his apprentices in John 9:1-3; nevertheless, we won’t be able to see clearly unless Jesus removes them (John 9:4-11).
Invite participants to consider each of the following “blinders” simply by noting when a described obstacle stands out to them. Encourage them to write that blinder down, confessing the reality of their heart’s situation to Jesus.
Read through the following descriptions slowly.
Grief | Is the pain, tears, or anger of loss—yours, a friend’s or family’s, or even societal—clouding your vision? If so, confess that to Jesus.
Disillusionment | Are past (or current) encounters, unmet expectations, or wounds experienced in following Jesus with others causing you to feel cynical or apathetic towards the way of Jesus? If so, confess that Jesus.
Tunnel Vision | Are the circumstances of life causing you to feel too confined, so focused on the details of your life that it makes everything (like a friend’s comment, a group decision, or a minor inconvenience) personal and so difficult to see a bigger perspective? If so, confess that to Jesus.
Ignorance | Is a lack of understanding of how God works and what he wants for you, that elementary doctrine of Christ, keeping you from recognizing him in your life? If so, confess that to Jesus.
Societal Sight | Is the cultural wisdom/vision of how life should work—ways that are not death, burial & resurrection rhythm—making it hard for you to see Jesus? If so, confess that to him.
Self-Absorption | Have you forgotten to pray, “Father, what are you up to, and how do I join you in it?”
Give your group 5-7 minutes to ponder the question, listen quietly, and respond.
FOCUSING YOUR MIND
Have someone pray the following prayer over the group:
Father, we believe our lives are touched by you, formed by your love and presence, and that you want something for us and of us. Give us ears to hear you, eyes to see the tracing of your finger in all life, and a heart quickened by the motions of your Spirit deep within. For we are in Jesus, and Jesus is with us. Amen.[4]
OPENING YOUR EYES
Now it’s time to examen your week. You’ll do so in two movements.
Encourage participants to ask God to show them where He has been present with them even when they were not aware of it. Invite them to move through the different happenings of your week—work, play, rest, meals, family, house to-dos, hanging out with friends, GC, phone calls, tv time, interactions, decisions made.
MOVEMENT #1 | Noticing Jesus’ Presence
Encourage the group to note the moments during the week when they felt: gratitude, love, wisdom, protection, guidance, peace, etc., that came from something beyond themselves--times when they felt Jesus near in some special way.
Give your group 5-7 minutes to review their week quietly, writing down when and where they noticed Jesus with them.
MOVEMENT #2 | Noticing Disconnection
Encourage the group to note (without judging) the moments during the week when they felt: emptiness, stress, frustration, loneliness, being drained, anxious, etc. Moments when they were not at their best and felt disconnected from God.
Give your group 5-7 minutes to review their week quietly, writing down when and where they noticed Jesus with them.
SHARE
Now it’s time to be vulnerable…with one another. Allow each person 2-3 minutes to share what they noticed. Let each person articulate what (if any) obstacles are keeping them from seeing clearly right now, and then where they noticed Jesus throughout the week, and when they felt disconnected. Encourage those not sharing to not interrupt or add commentary even if they are doing so as affirmation.
After each person shares, have 1 minute of silence.
When the minute is up, if any wisdom or questions arose in the quiet listening, encourage the group to voice them for the person who just shared. Encourage that person to receive what people share without immediate comment or response.
Repeat the sharing, listening, voicing until everyone in the group has shared.
GROUNDING ON THE FOUNDATION
After your time of sharing, give your group 2 minutes of silence to rest on the foundation that all of life takes place in our Father’s good creation and intended salvation. Encourage the participants to consider the moments of disconnection by leading them to consider and ask:
If God felt absent, ask him to show you evidence of his presence.
If the source of their feelings came from a choice made, ask God what it would like to choose his way everlasting next time.
If there is an area they know is sinful, confess it, receive God’s forgiveness and ask for God’s help moving forward.
CONCLUSION
Conclude your group time by expressing your gratitude for God's continual presence, working-for-good, and gentle guidance throughout your lives, and your desire to join with him together.
Encourage the group to come back to where and how they noted Jesus in their lives and the group's life—praying these back to God and asking for clarity, encouragement, and courage to respond to Him. Then, bring them back up in conversations(!), helping one another to hone their faculty of discernment.
_________
[1] While not necessary, it might be helpful to have participants listen to the Gathering titled: “Noticing Jesus Together” prior to this together practice.
[2] Ruth Haley Barton, Life Together In Christ: experiencing transformation in community, 138.
[3] The following practice is adapted from several practices and suggestions in Barton, 141-147, for which we are both extremely indebted and grateful.
[4] Adapted from Barton’s adaption of Ted Loder’s prayer in Barton, 147.